2008

2009 is officially upon us and has brought with it a revival that only January 1st can bring. The hope and possibility I spend the entire year longing for. It seems I begin every year with a joyous zest for a better life, thinking of all the ways I will improve, learn, love, cherish~blah, blah, blah. Then somewhere along the way life happens and it all goes to pot. Suddenly I am back to my negative, bitter, anxious, discontent life waiting and planning for my next new beginning.
So this year instead I choose to reflect on what I did right, instead of resolving to do better. Along with the *new* tradition of throwing out the bad(eggs) comes a new tradition to be proud of the things I accomplished, the moments I loved, the lessons learned.

Yes, still in my mind have the plans of how to do it better, but before I get all sidetracked with the "should haves". I want to momentarily fixate my thoughts on the "I dids".

I loved my girls. I was Mom...plain and simple. This is my greatest accomplishment.

I took that step. I started College. It was a huge step that to this day still causes my heart to beat fast and my throat to close up and about a million other symptoms of anxiety...but I did it nonetheless.

I lived, I laughed and I loved. I spent time alone listening to the water and the wind. I watched the clouds and the rain. I ran blindly though the field trusting myself to God and felt free.

I read, I wrote, I took pictures. I went on 4 vacations, (2 without children.) I went to 2 concerts and spent time restoring family relationships. I discovered so much about myself this year and I followed my heart even on the bumpy roads.

I kept the house, moved and I made our house a home. I did it all on my own. I had some help, yes...but for all extensive purposes, I did it alone.

I allowed myself to face the fear of failure, to overcome my insecurities but most importantly I allowed myself to be just that...me. Perfect in His image, loved for my weaknesses not in spite of them.

I spent many perfect evenings watching my girls play, laugh & smile, it takes my breath away to remember the smiles, the smells, the sounds of this year. I felt the embrace of God in the hugs of my children, family and friends.

I was blessed beyond comprehension in 2008.