(belated) Father's Day

In honor of my perpetually late Dad, this is my Father's day post. I didn't plan it this way~but it seems fitting, hahaha!!! :-)


So I have this Dad, he is a little (okay, maybe more than a little) goofy. I can honestly say he is one of the smartest men I know...he knows alot about everything and mostly people. Everywhere we go, he knows somebody. I'll never forget the Wal-Mart in Lampasas that one August vacation, He sees this little old lady shuffling across the parking lot and says "I think that is so and so, my second grade teacher".He knows pretty much anything and everything about Texas, and politics and the Bible. He has some seriously vintage ties, has been known to wear some pretty funny clothing combinations and makes up even crazier omelet creations because he can't stand to waste food.

He has been married to my Mom for the better part of 4 decades now. Yep they celebrate 40 years next may! Not that I think my Mom is a difficult woman by any means, but still, I think it speaks volumes about a man if he stays married to the same woman through 9 pregnancies.

He loves to take the long way, to drive for the sake of driving, he collects rocks and has been known to pop them in his mouth on occasion. He also does this with straws. My own gum addiction is most definitely inherited from him! His National Geographic collection took up the entire perimeter of his office. He had floor to ceiling, built in book shelves but built additional shelves to house these magazines. And if you messed with them, he would notice!

He is an amazing father, this is a realization I came to later in life I must admit. Growing up he annoyed me. Every time he would quote "children obey your parents" we would respond, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children.". He dolled out plenty of spankings but nothing compared to that truly evil disapproving look in those black rimmed glasses. That look burned holes straight through me! He prayed at every meal, read Proverbs to us for years and the book, all I need to know I learned in kindergarten. He may not have been a super touchy feely Dad, but when push came to shove, you knew he loved you. When I had told my parents I was pregnant with Abigail I understood that for the first time. There was no judgment, no shame, no condemnation...just love and excitement over a new life. As he sat in the hospital with me, not saying a word rubing my feet I understood how much he loved me and just how much I needed him. That my friends is the most important gift a father can give.

a few monkey moments

The girls have been home about a week and a half now and I am breathing much easier! The first week back was a little wonky because we had arranged to bring Katelyn back from CS with us so she went straight from 2 weeks of chaos with Dad to a week of chaos with Mom. We ended the week with a baby shower and celebrating Father's Day with my family and all that left us completely and utterly exhausted, at our wits end with each other. After a few chill days with Mom, both girls are finally calming down and settling back into our routine. The black cloud hanging over us is the fact that they go back to their Dads this weekend. My oh so human complaint is that he gets 2, then 4 weeks of *uninterrupted* time with them. This is a luxury I will NEVER get. Such is life...

This week we have looked for new bedspreads and curtains to decorate their rooms, went to get our nails done and to the movies. Throw in a trip to Starbucks, lots of ice cream cones, playing in the sprinkler, walks with Maelei, and lazy mornings lounging in bed, watching TV and that pretty much sums up what our days have been filled with. It really has been soothing to all of our souls to have this precious time to enjoy with each other.

I am looking forward to, and trying to think of some really fun stuff to do next week before they leave for July. On the agenda so far is a trip to Stephenville, complete with fishing with the uncles, horseback riding with the aunts/friends, lots of swimming and a special date night for Mom and Abigail. Somewhere in there we will let the girls decorate letters for Axel's room, take some pictures and decorate 4th of July shirts! Whew...we like to stay busy that's for sure! :-)

Today is going to be a great day!

First off today marks one year for Ryan and I! This past year is difficult to sum up in words, but of course I have to try so here is what I have. We made it through the good bad and ugly~all wrapped up in commitment, devotion and love. This year has taught me many, many things. Personal differences, perspective, trust. I won't lie and tell you we had a fairytale year~but I will honestly say that I look forward to the rest of the story with this man who continues to prove every day that he is my prince and that I am his princess.

Today is also the first welcoming party for Axel! It means his arrival is real and close, and I am beginning to get anxious. Of course I want to "plan" how everything will go which means I am about to embark on a journey I can't even imagine...God has a sense of humor like that!

I get to see my friends...this is ALWAYS cause for celebration! :-)

And after all that...

I GET TO GO PICK UP MY GIRLS!!!!!

I am so thankful for friends who take into consideration my life and personality when planning events such as this. They knew that I would need a distraction to make it through today, being so anxious to wrap my arms around Abigail and Amelia! I know it is bothersome at times for those who love me to have to deal with my emotional reactions to this whole visitation drama...but I am so blessed to have friends and family who know how silly I get and who not only love me anyway, they continue to help me cope!

Today is going to be such an amazing day, I'm off to relish in it!

6 days!

Till the girls come home! So now I have to kick it into gear and get some stuff taken care of before they get here :-)

Today I realized exactly how much there is that I still need to do...Tomorrow I have plans to meet a friend for lunch, and run around town paying bills, but Wednesday will be the clearing of closets! Thursday I will preform a magic trick and make all the clothes disappear! Bwahahaha!!!!

Is it sad how much the thought of cleaning out closets excites me! I am amazed at how much we've accumulate in a year.

We have pretty much everything set for Axel. The only things left to do are pack for the hospital and install the car seat. And the way I figure, if I do those things then there will be no chance of him coming on his own. I hope to be the woman throwing random objects in a bag and rushing out the door to the hospital or better yet, having to rely on a sister to bring me what I need!

That seems to cover it for now. I'm sure I'll find something else to write about in the near future, so until then :-)

Missing my loves

I am deep in a funk right about now...despite my best efforts not to be. I miss them, in all their rotten-ness. It amazes me how much free time I have. I do not like it. I miss playing chauffeur, referee, nurse, chef, maid etc...

I hope they know how much I miss them. Not because I want them to be sad, or feel bad for me, but because the thought of my babies wondering why I haven't called, shreds my heart! Its a sticky predicament...to call or not to call. I want to hear their voices, and know that they are not missing me, but by calling I am forcing myself into their thoughts and if they weren't missing me before, they will be now and then I have caused them pain. Yes, I know~I think too much.

I know they are being loved on. Not by Mom, but by people who do love them and this is mildly comforting. But then I think about hugging their small bodies, stroking their hair, hearing their voices and I start to lose it. I can't help it...I miss my babies!

Last year as soon as they left I stripped their beds and emptied the clothes hampers. I thoroughly cleaned the house top to bottom. It didn't take long, we had barely moved in. This year I am purposely NOT doing any of those things. I have straightened their rooms and cleaned the rest of the house...but I refuse to wash the sheets and clothes till they come home. Don't ask why and I won't explain my reasons. I see the neighborhood kids and I tear up, so mostly I sit in the house reading ahead for school and stocking up on sleep. Little man will be here soon and I am pretty sure I will need it.

There really isn't much else going on in my life...missing my kids, my siblings, my friends. One of the yuck factors is that my Mom had to go to WI for work and is out of touch. I do not like this feeling one bit! I am lonely...and there are times I feel the need, (yes, physically NEED) to call and talk to another human being, but there isn't anyone to call. Friends have busy lives and really, I know I have nothing substantial to say so I sit in the house and think to God.

I have no idea what else I should be doing with this time. I've never really been any good at sitting still and doing nothing but resting in the quiet...maybe I'll learn my lesson this time. That or I'll just go mad. :-)