Amusement park of Life

So we all know that life is a roller coaster...sometimes thrilling and fun. At other times, nauseating and frightful. Life is a merry go round, at least for me lately...round and round the same old, same old.

I am learning that I will face the same struggles time and time again until I learn to handle them the "correct" way. This is good and bad. I get to experience some great things in life...multiple times. And I also get to relive moments I'd really prefer not too.


I'm trying to process so many thoughts right now...so bear with me as I bare my soul...


There is no such thing as being still, if your not moving forward, you are falling behind. We race forward only to end up 10 steps behind. The world is spinning in circles so we are always moving forward however, this also means that at some point, we all end up back where we started. The only thing we can control is our pace, dogs chasing our tails or leavings blowing in the wind. We must learn to let go, accept what we encounter, good or bad. Enjoy the scenery, the freedom of knowing that our life is not dependent on *this* moment.

A friend posted the other day about how repetition is NOT failure...that we encounter things until we learn to accept them and be at peace with our lives as they unfold. There is meaning in EVERYTHING! No matter how trivial or painful~like the water and the wind carving its way through the rocks to make the beautiful grand canyons.

I am still unsure of what all this means for me...all I know is that for the first time in years, I feel as if my soul has been fed and it has made me aware of my starving desire.

I have made progress and and I am happier than I was before as I learn to accept. Things keep happening and I have not vomitted up all my thoughts and feelings which is pretty darn big for me. I am learning that when things keep happening, I should try to react differently until I find the solution that makes the problem disappear.

I don't like this. I don't have to. It doesn't mean I am a failure. I do not have to be a cheerleader all of the time...I am just striving NOT to be eyeore all the time either.

A few random thoughts on a lazy Sunday morning. Maybe I "ought" to be in Church...I'm going to take my son for a walk, listen to my girls fuss and giggle. I will breathe deeply and enjoy *this* minute of my life, regardless of how it differs from my "plan". God is everywhere and I am certain he will join me as we feel the sun, watch the trees and listen to the sounds of nature.