Care

I’ve been singing trust and obey to my daycare kids for a few weeks now…and was recently told my by someone very close to me this week that I don’t care about people outside of my little circle.

And it knocked the wind out of me. To be honest, I still haven’t recovered from that blow. They might as well have told me I was an ogre…because to me someone who doesn’t care about people is the epitome of ugly. 

Because I do what I do…I had to process and step one was to ask myself why those words hurt so much. It seems to me that when people gets immediately defensive…it is because there is an element of truth in what was said.  It is true…the truth hurts, and some of us can’t handle it.

So what about the statement was true? Is it true that I have no cares for humanity? No. I care a great deal about the human race. Once upon a time, I cared too much. I gave away all of my cares and emotions and energy to people with whom my very existence didn’t even register. It took a minute, but once I figured out where the leaks were, I was able to patch them and divert my precious cares elsewhere.

Like…towards taking care of myself. Say whaaat?! I know it is terrible…a mother taking care of herself. So selfish, right?! No. Nope, not even a little bit.

Once I became a mom…the absolute hardest thing for me to do what re-learn how to take care of myself. And it cost me A LOT. It’s not a simple thing to understand, motherhood…so if you don’t get it…you just don’t get it. And that is totally ok, You do you.

So here I am now wondering, if the pendulum has swung too far the other way. Have I really become and uncaring person? I don’t think I have…as I type I am attached to a breast pump in an attempt to re-lactate to help my sister feed her daughter. Would an uncaring person do something like that? I think not. So No, I am not an uncaring person, but rather I am learning to recognize the input and balance it with the output so everything works and nobody bleeds to death.  Some people are a little disgruntled with this and understandably so.

And here come the newsflash…just because some people don’t like what I am doing…does not actually make it wrong?! Oooo, there is an interesting thought?

How much of what we perceive to be wrong in life is actually wrong? What if we started pausing to question if our personal reaction to another’s action (that in all honesty has very little actual impact on our lives) is any better? Hmm…could this be what loving others and giving thanks is all things is actually about? Do we get upset with others actions because they are wrong or because they activate feelings in ourselves we are not willing to feel?! Do we take offense because the action is wrong or because it make us feel more valuable to point out someone else’s sin? * I am personally struggling with this one a whole lot, just so you know.

It’s a tangled web…these thoughts of mine. Always spinning off in different directions lighting fires in dark little corners of my mind and revealing truths that are not, shall we say popular or comfortable?!

But isn’t that also part of being a Christian? What really is the popular versus right choice and didn’t God also ask/allow some pretty horrendous things of people…Bathsheba & David…Abraham?!

What if they had hesitated to trust that God’s plan was bigger than their eyes? What if they were so set on their “Christian” response that they disobeyed?!

 You know why I feel this way, think these thoughts and say these words? Because I know it is Ok. I know that the outcome to these current events is already written. Whatever will be will be…and it will be ok because I believe I hold a one way ticket to heaven. And nothing I can do, say, think or feel will revoke it. Because I am saved by grace. Not the grace of men…but the grace of God.

The tribulation will come. The world will end. I will die…but my vote in this joke of an election will have no bearing on my number of days or cause the end times. But do you know what it will cause…the destruction of the church. You can argue either side, at least I can. The ONLY right answer here…is trust and obey… and what is the number one job given to christians? LOVE. Don’t tear apart. Don’t let your reaction to someone else’s actions or words cause you to lose your witness. If you disagree, disagree…but act in love. Take them to dinner, quietly respectfully if you feel the need, tell them you disagree but that you value them because GOD loves them. Don’t say in spite of their “wrong”…just love them. Tell them all the things you agree with them on. Connect and build a stronger relationship…this is what God asks of us.

My challenge is this…to find one person daily that I struggle to relate to and make an effort to love them as Christ does.

I like to think I have a say and a voice…and I do, for a specific audience. And right now that audience is my children. My reaction to all this malarkey is what I need to be focused on. Teaching them how to listen to their own hearts, protect their own minds and nourish their own souls as the temple God entrusted to them. I am to guide them to seek out the truth that God speaks to them for His purpose. Not to gain blind obedience, judge or concemn in order to gain the approval of our peers or save the world…

Our job is to rise above, stand tall, exude the light and be the love of Christ.