Nine years ago, I was sitting in the hospital in Granbury Texas, admiring my newborn baby girl. Looking at this perfect, tiny human being, wondering how on earth I was so blessed. I knew that night, she had changed my life and I was beyond grateful.
Today, once again I am marveling at the blessings this child brings to our lives.
And I am in agony.
My girl is turning 9 today...and I got to hear her voice and tell her how loved she is, but I cannot touch her, hold her, hug and kiss her. There is next year, but she will be 10. Will she let me sit on the couch and stroke her hair and tell her about when she was a baby? Oh, my heart...
Sometimes I think I love my children too much. When they are away from me, the physical separation is excruciating. Perhaps it is the pregnancy hormones...but whatever it is hurts like hell tonight.
She will be home tomorrow. We will celebrate with her then. We will give her gifts and I will sit with her on the couch and tell her how she is my dream come true. I will marvel at how she has grown and we will have cake.
Tonight, Ryan has gone to get me okra, mashed potatoes and coleslaw because that is all that sounds appetizing. I will focus on this new life growing inside of me. We will sit on the couch and hopefully this baby bean will be very active and distract me from missing his sisters too terribly much. Ryan will bring home a movie and we will watch it and laugh. Josanna will be here in a bit and I will be so grateful for her company tonight!
While I am missing my heart, I am grateful that she is with her Father, creating new memories to replace the ones left 4 years ago. I pray they will be very, very special and dear to her heart and that she will remain as pure as she has thus far.
Today is the day I remember how nine years ago, Abigail Grace changed my world! Happy, happy day precious girl~Momma loves you more than you can imagine!
No comments:
Post a Comment