What difference does that make?!

To the person who questioned the difference it makes in a child's life when they have no memory of Mom and Dad...it's freakflippingHUGE!

Amelia is one of the brightest, most gifted and happy children I have ever met. I am not just saying this because she is mine. She has a fierce independent streak and that can be her greatest strength or her greatest weakness...depending on who you ask. I choose to see it as a strength and I know those that see it as anything less, only do so because they are irritated they cannot control her.

Anyone who has worked with children, knows that they are capable of understanding far more than we give them credit for. They have a sixth sense that most adults envy. So when my child says something you deem inappropriate...chances are its the truth you'd like to ignore.

She is here because B and I were married. But we are not married now. Naturally she would question this. Naturally she would create a story. Although it may not be true in your opinion...it is true to her. She is allowed to say what she thinks or feels without fear of punishment. She does not say these things to be mean...she is just a child.

And she faces challenges no one (except her Dad) can really understand.

She has NO memory whatsoever of her Mom and Dad being together. 

Abigail has 5 years of memories. And she talks about it. Which makes Amelia wonder why she doesn't remember.

Her sisters at her Dad's have their Mom and their Dad...together. A complete family. Which makes Amelia wonder if he loves them more.

Axel has his Mom and his Dad...together. Which makes her question why he doesn't have to leave his Mom.

She is the odd man out. She is the "middle" child. She feels alone.

Amelia feels insecure because the only foundation she knows is different from everyone else's and it doens't make sense to her. Her world is black and white, right and wrong. And excuse me...but I'd like to keep it that way as long as possible.

I am so angry at people who are mean to her. Yes, she has a challenging attitude. The fact that her Dad left when she was 8 weeks old does not excuse her childish disobedience. But it does warrant some consideration. Some grace if you may.

She needs a very consistent, stable routine. She needs positive reinforcement. She needs love.


She is questioning  where she came from. She is questioning why all this pain surrounds her. She is questioning who to trust. She loves her family, the family she knows...but she doens't understand why we are so different.

And my heart aches...because I can't make it right. I can't heal her heart. I can't explain why.

I am thankful for her step-mom making an effort. I am thankful that the exposure to those who see her as anything less than the absolutely perfect child she is, is minimal. I am thankful that she is resilient.


I am thankful that God sent her to me. He knew what the future would hold and he saw fit to send her to me anyhow.

Some may see her as a band-aid. Some may see her as a mistake, a reminder of failure.

That is NOT what I see.

I see the brightest, bluest eyes. I see an infectious smile. I see a heart that is pure, open, accepting and full of love. I see an inquisitive mind that will challenge those who try to manipulate it. I see a strong, fiery girl who shines so brightly she will not be overshadowed. I see a girl with a zest for life, a thirst for knowledge and a love to share. I see an angel who will prove them all wrong.