My nature

The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated.
-- WIlliam James

As we go about our Holiday business, we each reflect on the things that we are thankful for. This year there have been many "thanksgiving challenges", one in particular is to be "thankful for the thorns".
We all know I would do well to put a little more effort into being thankful for the thorns in my life.

Personally, I started my journey of thanks back in July, while in MI. I was less than joyful about that trip. My goal is not to simply acknowledge areas where I *ought* to be thankful, but to focus on living a life of gratitude, in action. This is not a quick sprint for me...this has been one of the most challenging goals I have ever set for myself and I stumble daily to live a spirit of thanksgivinig.

While others are setting goals like "run a marathon", my goals are more internal and I am not talking about my physical health. Mental health is a little more precious to me and something I want to strengthen. I have a family history of dementia and it frightens me when I stumble to find the right words or forget things. I struggle much less now that I am not up all hours of the night with a baby or school...regardless, I am painfully aware of the damage caused by mental deterioration. Therefore my focus is on my mind. One of the ways I intend to do this is to fixate on my attitude and perspective.

I have said before, and I'll say it again, I am thankful for all "my kids". They are so much more than an occupation. They are more than my offspring. They are my legacy. Many things have changed over the years, but my opinion of the impact children have is the same. These kids are the future...and I have no desire to cure cancer or be famous, I simply wish to see the small seeds I've planted take root and blossom.

There are plenty of days that this job seem much more like a briar patch than a flower garden, even still...I am thankful. On the roughest of days, I have come to realize that God is simply working on me. When the monsters challenge me...more often than not, it is my attitude they are reflecting. I have learned to see their funky attitudes as an opportunity ~ to extend love & mercy. Also, I have come to see that just as much of my job is working with the parents as it is with the kids. The relationship between their parents and I, will GREATLY affect their relationship with me.

This year my "harvest" has been bountiful. :-) The girls I watch are so stinking smart! A few families I have worked with in the past have sought me out to give me updates and express their thanks. My soul sings with the reassurance that regardless of society's opinion of "babysitters", I am doing exactly what I was created to do and that I am doing it to the best of my ability.

For this, I am ever thankful.