There has been a lot of active discussion on fb regarding women in the church. Specifically how women's behaviors influence men's behavior and how women unjustly carry the burden of leading men to sin.
I jumped right up on that bandwagon. It disgusts me when people insinuate that a provocatively dressed women are to blame for a man being a pig. Furthermore...it infuriates to think my daughters may find themselves with the same spiritual scars inflicted by the church at the hands of a man, whom she led to sin.
Then my Mom called me out. That is exactly what we (my family and I) do to her. Ouch!
The truth of the matter is, she did not force him to leave his family. She may have made herself available and enticing...but he took those steps on his own.
I know all of this. But my choosen (and flawed) perspective is this...
I will not hate him for who he is or what he has done. I have fought those feelings since I discovered that first text message. I have witnessed what it does to children when one parent bad mouths the other. I have always spoken honestly and highly of their father. At times the necessary honesty clouds the picture of his pristine reputation, but that also makes him real.
In order to protect my children, I project my hatred for their actions on her. It is not "right", but it is was is.
I believe it was her choice to accept this. Just as he weighed the pros of cons of divorcing me, she must have weighed the pros and cons of becoming involved with a married man with children. She accepted the role of step-mom and all that entails.
Regardless of my personal feelings or excuses, I do advise my girls to be respectful. I encourage them to consider her intentions rather than her actions. It pains me greatly, but I sacrifice for their emotional well being. And now having faced this truth, I will make a better effort to accept her as Christ sees her, in love for my daughters.
Because I am their Momma, and that is what Momma's do for their babies.
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