Sunday, March 6, 2016

Happy Birthday



 I will celebrate another year of human life here in a few weeks and this birthday is resonating on a few levels. I can feel my life shifting gears as my youngest has turned two and become absolute spawn. Abigail will start high school in less than six months. Amelia will be a 4th grader and the plan is for Axel to start pre-K, pending acceptance. Otherwise, we may just bite the bullet and take our chances with Kinder. But as we all know with my “plans”…the reality will probably be something so very different I cannot even begin to conjure it in my imagination.
With all that impending doom, um, I mean change. Err, uh growth…I started thinking about ways to embrace this next phase.
As we all know, I have been on this particular journey for a minute. The one where I learn to accept life as it is and love myself…because I am imperfect but not unworthy. I *think* I have figured out the lesson I have been supposed to learn for the better part of a decade and now I am in the part where I have to use what I have figured out and apply it daily.  21 days to make a habit, right?! So far my personal best is hovering at 9.

Any way I am getting off topic…so the last couple of weeks I have been running and meditating. And a few things have become clear. I am still trying too hard to be “normal”. I still value others happiness and peace above my own. I can not fake it till I make it. I have to be me.

What this means, is I am shedding the things that no longer serve me. I am going to embrace who I was created to be and do what feels right in my soul. I will not live this life according to someone else’s recipe for success. I am giving myself permission to be exactly who I was designed, created and destined to be.
I will…
  • ·    Share about Shaklee…because it has changed my life and become an integral part of my days. I will also share about juice plus, and young living. Not because I am trying to earn a paycheck but because these are products that use love and believe in.
  •      Let go of each work day as soon at 5:30 and make decisions based on my family’s needs.  
  •      Continue to improve myself, whether it be running 5k’s, working on another certification or degree or having conversations with other adults who teach and feed my spirit.

 I quit…
  • ·    Allowing others opinions of me to influence my attitude.
  • ·    Explaining why my kitchen floor is unswept or there are dishes in my sink.
  • ·    Worrying about everything possible scenario where something I said or did could be misinterpreted and making myself ill.
  • ·    Shopping instead of communicating my disappointments and irritations.
  • ·    Working on myself to “fix” situations that are not my responsibility to fix.
      
I recently read about a quote…something along the lines of “the important things stay”. I am going to try trusting in that a little bit more. Because love does not fear.
I am giving myself permission to be loved, to invest my time and energy in the things that feed me and not throw my energy away living in fear.


35 is going to be an amazing year! 

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