Should you care to know...

Wise people say there are three sides to a story. Yours, theirs and the truth. Lately all anyone can talk about is their side. Their perspective, their truth, their hurt….and it is too much.

We have all been struggling for months to figure out where we stand in this mess. Losing people left and right, drawing lines in the metaphorical sand and just overall looking for and participating in fights. And there are certainly issues at hand worth fighting about. But life is not one size fits all. Everyone is different and at the end of the day…Americans are incredibly blessed. Even the ones who aren’t. Now don’t get me wrong, there are unspeakable horrors that transpire in our 50 states daily and it makes me cringe that we have not been able to overcome them. (Why is it that we can find a way to finance everyone and their dog having a “black box” with which we witch and moan about anything under the sun…but can’t feed every child, every day). Where girls not only have the right to an education but for the most part can wear what they want, say what they want; and not fear being beaten or torn apart for something their husband, brother or father said.

There are more than a few things american females have the right to that make our country pretty damn amazing. I am not saying that I wouldn’t have marched proudly yesterday, but I will say that I didn’t for my own, selfish and fear-filled reasons. I am okay with not marching because I feel a little bit like it was the “capital” in the hunger games when you think about girls in third world countries and the actual injustices they suffer. But I watched the videos, cheered the speeches and cried.

Right about now I feel compelled to say, I didn’t vote. I don't owe it to anyone to admit this...but I need people to know where I stood. I understand that some see this as a contribution to the Trump party. I'll admit…the main factor in my not voting was fear. I knew I wouldn’t vote for Trump. Because I have daughters. Because I love a little boy who is mixed race. Because I have a nephew with down’s and to vote for that person felt like a vile betrayal to these dear ones. But I couldn’t vote for her either. I tried…I really did, and I argued that gun to my head I would have. Because I have daughters and I want them to know they can be anything they want. But I do not want my daughters to grow up following that example for my own personal reasons. I get that many of my closest friends voted on their Christians standards. I respect their right to do so and am happy they were able to find peace there. But it is my Christian standards that made me step back, in defiance and say NO, I will not participate in this. Not everyone knows me well enough to understand and I will not share that story…but this was absolutely the right stand for me to take. I do have to just throw this out there though…the abortion debate is not one you want to start with me.  When you look at what pro-life actually is… he is just about the furthest thing from it. I have my own personal, emotional issues with this...but I digress.

Here’s the thing. This is my perspective. It doesn’t have to be yours. I am not trying to change your mind. I am sharing because for months I have been compelled to let people know where I stand…but was afraid of what it would cost me. And today I feel brave. I feel like watching the videos of the women marching yesterday for EVERYONE…not just for women’s rights, did give me strength. My story gives me power, because it has grown me.  I would not be who I am today, without the life experiences I've had. I would still be the 11 year old little girl thinking all democrats are sinners, that abortion is the unforgivable sin and that if bad things happen or people hurt you…it’s because God is angry with you for your own disobedience or bad attitude.  My perspective has changed because now I know that sometimes people do things unintentionally. Sometimes things hurt us because they are easier to process that way. But regardless…everysinglething that happens to us and around us is a lesson; and we do get to choose our reactions and the direction we go after.

I want to be authentic and transparent. I want people to know me and if in knowing me they decide they can no longer associate with me, then at least I have honored my own soul. This is what is important to me, not only for myself but for my children. Because whoever they grow to be, I want them to always honor their soul as it is God given; in doing so they please the God who created them in his image and who loves them enough to die for them. This is my Christian truth.