More of the story of us.

Part of this process is to write the good, when all I can remember is the bad. So with that in mind...

I wish I knew then, what I know now. Isn't that always how the story goes. I cannot wish that I hadn't married him or I wouldn't have Amelia. I would endure every part of it all over again for my angel baby. I wish that I had fought harder. Tonight I need to continue on, documenting the good when really all I want to do is run my mouth, spilling every dirty, horrid detail about the one who shall not be named.

But I will not. Because I am no longer what he says I am. I have changed.
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Your Daddy was accepted into TAMU, CVM in 2004. In 2004 I moved away from my Mom and Dad and siblings to follow my husband, because I loved him and I was completely devoted to him and our future as a family. I won't lie...it was the hardest thing I ever did.

But it was NOT all bad. We had many wonderful memories in that house. Abigail went from a chubby little toddler to a little girl in that house. She learned to sing the ABC's and was potty trained in that house. Many different relationships were tested in that house. We welcomed Amelia into our family in that house. Mom and Dad both grew up a little bit more in that house. We went to dances and crawfish boils. Daddy went to the chicken and played dominoes and brought his friends over to palpate Maelei. We had lots of BBQ's with friends and your Daddy perfected his meat smoking/grilling talents. He taught me how to make his "famous" spaghetti. We worked on the house and planned out future. Jahna lived with us in that house. We went on dates and family vacations. We spent many summer days on the Comal. Abigail, do you remember going to Schlitterbahn when you were three? You got sunscreen in your eyes, we laughed at Daddy when he went on the surfing ride. We floated the river and watched in AWE as your tiny body pulled our tube. We watched the people bungee at Schlitterbahn and Mom talked about what a big ole baby she was. (Amelia, I will forever feel guilty that I could not give you these memories with your Daddy. Life is NOT fair. You deserved to have memories with your Mom and your Dad. I am so, so sorry baby girl!)

We talked about giving Abigail a baby brother or sister off and on. But it was not until the end of second year that we were brave enough to try. We had heard that if you can make it past second year, it was all down hill. We were wrong!

Regardless, we were very excited to learn that Abigail would be getting a baby sister. Mom and Dad celebrated 5 years of being married and went to Cozumel with some friends. Mom was not the most pleasant person to travel with. I was (am) a worry wart. I worried about leaving Abigail and going out of the US. I worried about drinking the water, even more so because I was pregnant. I worried when Daddy went scuba diving.Your poor Daddy. He was great though and it was a trip I will never forget. Especially the deep sea fishing expedition. I made everyone on that boat sick, even your Daddy. I had never in my life gotten motion sickness, but I guess since I was pregnant I did. The next day we went shopping and took pictures of the gorgeous blue water. I remember thinking that day that your Daddy was the most handsome of men I had ever met and I was so blessed to be his wife. But I didn't tell him. I don't know why.

There was other stuff going on during this time. And some day you may ask and in the event that you do, I will tell you everything you want to know. In the meantime, I want you both to know that you were born to two people who loved you more than anything. You are perfect, sweet girls who did not do anything wrong. None of this business was either of y'alls fault. We failed you both and while I cannot speak for your Dad, I am sorry every single day for not being able to save our family.