It had nothing to do with you. She is her own person and she wanted this for herself. She never said you weren't smart. She thinks the world of you. But she also guards her heart because she remembers things you have chosen to forget.
Lets not be pretentious, You are a very smart man. You accomplished great things because you were determined. You went to public school, yes. But that was a few years ago and pretty much anybody will tell you that schools have greatly deteriorated in the last decade.Therefore it is not a fair comparison to say that you did so well in life because you went to public school. You were determined to be more than your brothers, to be more than your father, you love a challenge and you were determined to prove everyone wrong. You set your mind on a goal, worked hard, preserved and accomplished your goal.
I did not get the education I wanted. As a child, I didn't know better. When I went to public school the teachers apologized to my parents for wasting 3 months of my life. As a teenager, I wanted to go to school, but it was not an option. I didn't go to college for many reasons...but not one of those reasons was because I wasn't fully capable or smart enough! How dare you imply otherwise, especially to our daughter! If I had the desire to be a Vet, I could and would have, done so. But that was never a desire of mine. Not because I didn't go to public school. I never wanted to be an Astronaut either. A Lawyer or Architect, yes...a Vet, no. I went back to school when you walked out on our family. Because you told me I was nothing and that I would never be anything or do anything with my life. Silly me is still trying to prove you wrong, wasting my time and money on a degree, and for what. So you'll respect me?! Hahahaha...I see now what an absolutely foolish idea that was.
The greatest motivation in life, is to be told you can't do something. You of all people should know this to be absolute truth!
When we were dating, I told you that children were my priority. That I wouldn't have children for someone else to raise. That I would watch kids as long as I had children at home. That I saw kids as the future and working with them was how I planned to contribute to society. I would leave my mark on this world by loving kids and inspiring them to find themselves and their path to do great things. That was why I made the choices I did. At the time, you pretended to admire and respect that. My children are my greatest accomplishment and if you can't see the value in that...well, lasik isn't going to help you there.
I got knocked up. I had absolutely no "BS" education, so when you told me you would never hurt me I trusted you completely. I have made some poor choices in life, I don't deny that. The biggest one, I know now, was believing every word you said.
But I would never dream of punishing or limiting my child because of my feelings towards you. If she says she feels like she could do more, be smarter, go further in life, I will move heaven and earth to help her. To show her I believe in her, just like I believed in you. I can't believe you are so jaded and judgmental towards me that you would allow it to distort your view of our daughter and her potential. But then again, I can hear you in your "sincere vet voice"...Its not personal. You just never met an "accomplished" homeschooler.
No comments:
Post a Comment