The girls are with their Dad, and it is my least favorite cross to bear. But my mom is an awesome Mimi and hooked Abigail up with a cell phone so she can keep in touch. This makes things a little bit easier.
Or a whole lot harder.
They have been gone a little over a week and I have received several messages, and twice she has told me she missed me so much she was crying.
This slays me! Having your child tell you they miss you, and being physically incapable of wrapping your arms around them to comfort them...is like Chinese water torture for moms.
We texted back and forth and I think she calmed down a bit, so I am grateful for the option to communicate.
But it makes me so mad.
I am already struggling on my own...this bologna takes me back to the beginning of this mess and I have to fight to stay in the "now" and fixate on how much better this is and I am weak because I miss my girls like no body's business. Then to hear that they are sad, makes me mad as mad as mad! >:-(
This morning I got a text from their Dad and we were able to arrange some time tomorrow for me to go see them. I think this will help. My plan is to grab dinner and head to a park. I thought about calling our friends but I think the girls and I need some concentrated mommy/daughter time.
I wish I knew how to make this better, make all the ugliness of divorce go away...but I can't. In the meantime I will just be grateful that B and I were able to coordinate and that my children are so resilient.
As much as I detest this situation and I never wanted them to have to deal with this, I can't protect them from every idiot in the world. I can't bubble wrap them or shelter them forever. I know this.
But that doesn't mean I shouldn't want to, or try too. So I will text her a hundred times a day and I will pray over her hourly...and I will hug them even tighter when they come home. Just got to keep breathing till then :-)
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