Y'all...

One of my goals this year was to be more transparent and honest, with myself. A few years back, I posted an inflammatory post about abortion, I want to take this moment to apologize to those who were caused pain by that post. It was not my intention and shamefully, I never paused long enough to consider that potential outcome. I was more focused on knowing that I would get positive affirmations from my "circle". Likewise, it is not my intention now to start a religious or political riot when I say my views have shifted and I want to honor my goal and take a moment to be honest with whoever still reads this, and I am brave enough to risk upsetting the balance of my aforementioned circle.

I have a unique, personal perspective on the matter. I got pregnant before I was married and for anyone who knows my family... well, yeah. I knew that my pregnancy would break my parent's hearts and I did, for a full 10 seconds consider having an abortion. However, it was not a choice I could fathom and I based this on my faith in Romans 8:28 and Jeremiah 29:11. And now, 15 years later, having lived this life and experienced the consequences...It is still not a choice I would make. What is different now and why? I see now that there are many more factors in decisions such as this, far more than I could fathom...and each situation is completely individual. I have close friends who have walked different directions at this crossroads but you know what...both resulted in lives that follow and glorify God.

Another thing I didn't take into account before is the realization that I ought not claim to be pro-life if I am not protective of ALL lives.  Each and every life is ordained by God as part of HIS Plan. This refugee situation/foster care situation has struck a nerve. We get all up in arms about a right to life...what about the babies already alive that no one is caring for? Who can say that a girl contemplating the choice to carry to term or end a child suffering before it has a chance to start...will make the wrong choice. What if we stood beside and held her hand saying...whatever choice is the right choice for you and you are loved?  What if we offered hope in that dark scary moment, reassuring her that her choice DOES NOT define hee because all lives are valuable to GOD...worth dying for. I can't help but cry here as I think about my daughters...What would I want someone to say to them. Neither choice is going to be easy, but it will be okay.

 Perhaps that most powerful impact has come from the women stepping forward to share their stories have broken me. I am in awe of their strength! To have the courage to consider their child's life, in its entirety and put another humans needs before their own selfish desires shakes me to my core. We like to argue that God can work miracles. No doubt...but who are we to say what the miracle is? Who are we to say that the tiny moments of a fluttering heartbeat or lack there of are less powerful than a first breath? I have no pride when I say it is not something I could do. I am weak and it is sad to me that I can't say I would have the strength to put my child's comfort first or trust God to create beauty from those types of ashes. The story of Abraham and Issac comes to mind...

We are quick to pass judgement... but does God also not also call us to be compassionate? Forgiveness and salvation are His alone to offer... but our compassion, this is how we show them the love of Christ. We are called to love and I haven't really seen much of that since rejoining Facebook. While some have stories of miracles and healthy babies... others have stories of impossible choices, strength and courageous lives, that are just as purposeful in Gods plan.

I trust my heart and my heart says, "be still, I alone am in control" and the peace in that statement is abundant.

I want to set the example for my children which means admitting where my viewpoint has grown. I can ask forgives and offer love. I can contribute to missions I have confidence in, like the Mercy Project. I can raise my children to be brave and love those faced with impossible choices and offer them hope and acceptance REGARDLESS of their choice.

Can we just take a moment today to breathe in abundant goodness and exhale mercy. I challenge each reader to take a break this weekend, to go out into the world and make a tangible difference... to be His hands and feet.

Take time this weekend to LOVE, because love matters every day.

Mother-ing

As a mother, I have to say my piece...

Ask yourself...would you be okay if he was saying those things about your daughter? would you vote for him if he was referring to your sister?

Would you be proud to call him son?

If your argument is that He is pro-life,,,refer to his opinion of life as a whole.

If your argument is that he is what our country needs...check his record. How do you think he got to where he is and what part he has played in the economy.

I don't research these things because you can support either side if you are willing to buy the article.

I follow my heart, I listen to my gut and I will make the best choice for all of my children.

I will not raise my sons to be men who think that their penis or the color of their skin entitles them to say or do whatever they want or if they can convince a woman to take the blame they they are innocent.

I will not raise my daughters to think they should have to work harder to prove themselves. I will raise them to know they are strong, smart and just as capable as a man.

I am angry...at many things in my current situation. Many people have advised me to be quiet.

No.

I will write because I have a voice. Even if all I do is regurgitate what other women have said more eloquently...if it is something that resonates with my heart and soul for any of my four children...I will.

What I am telling my children now is to do the best that you can today...because who the hell knows what will happen tomorrow.  Love others as Christ does, share a message of love with your actions.

Today this is my action.

Care

I’ve been singing trust and obey to my daycare kids for a few weeks now…and was recently told my by someone very close to me this week that I don’t care about people outside of my little circle.

And it knocked the wind out of me. To be honest, I still haven’t recovered from that blow. They might as well have told me I was an ogre…because to me someone who doesn’t care about people is the epitome of ugly. 

Because I do what I do…I had to process and step one was to ask myself why those words hurt so much. It seems to me that when people gets immediately defensive…it is because there is an element of truth in what was said.  It is true…the truth hurts, and some of us can’t handle it.

So what about the statement was true? Is it true that I have no cares for humanity? No. I care a great deal about the human race. Once upon a time, I cared too much. I gave away all of my cares and emotions and energy to people with whom my very existence didn’t even register. It took a minute, but once I figured out where the leaks were, I was able to patch them and divert my precious cares elsewhere.

Like…towards taking care of myself. Say whaaat?! I know it is terrible…a mother taking care of herself. So selfish, right?! No. Nope, not even a little bit.

Once I became a mom…the absolute hardest thing for me to do what re-learn how to take care of myself. And it cost me A LOT. It’s not a simple thing to understand, motherhood…so if you don’t get it…you just don’t get it. And that is totally ok, You do you.

So here I am now wondering, if the pendulum has swung too far the other way. Have I really become and uncaring person? I don’t think I have…as I type I am attached to a breast pump in an attempt to re-lactate to help my sister feed her daughter. Would an uncaring person do something like that? I think not. So No, I am not an uncaring person, but rather I am learning to recognize the input and balance it with the output so everything works and nobody bleeds to death.  Some people are a little disgruntled with this and understandably so.

And here come the newsflash…just because some people don’t like what I am doing…does not actually make it wrong?! Oooo, there is an interesting thought?

How much of what we perceive to be wrong in life is actually wrong? What if we started pausing to question if our personal reaction to another’s action (that in all honesty has very little actual impact on our lives) is any better? Hmm…could this be what loving others and giving thanks is all things is actually about? Do we get upset with others actions because they are wrong or because they activate feelings in ourselves we are not willing to feel?! Do we take offense because the action is wrong or because it make us feel more valuable to point out someone else’s sin? * I am personally struggling with this one a whole lot, just so you know.

It’s a tangled web…these thoughts of mine. Always spinning off in different directions lighting fires in dark little corners of my mind and revealing truths that are not, shall we say popular or comfortable?!

But isn’t that also part of being a Christian? What really is the popular versus right choice and didn’t God also ask/allow some pretty horrendous things of people…Bathsheba & David…Abraham?!

What if they had hesitated to trust that God’s plan was bigger than their eyes? What if they were so set on their “Christian” response that they disobeyed?!

 You know why I feel this way, think these thoughts and say these words? Because I know it is Ok. I know that the outcome to these current events is already written. Whatever will be will be…and it will be ok because I believe I hold a one way ticket to heaven. And nothing I can do, say, think or feel will revoke it. Because I am saved by grace. Not the grace of men…but the grace of God.

The tribulation will come. The world will end. I will die…but my vote in this joke of an election will have no bearing on my number of days or cause the end times. But do you know what it will cause…the destruction of the church. You can argue either side, at least I can. The ONLY right answer here…is trust and obey… and what is the number one job given to christians? LOVE. Don’t tear apart. Don’t let your reaction to someone else’s actions or words cause you to lose your witness. If you disagree, disagree…but act in love. Take them to dinner, quietly respectfully if you feel the need, tell them you disagree but that you value them because GOD loves them. Don’t say in spite of their “wrong”…just love them. Tell them all the things you agree with them on. Connect and build a stronger relationship…this is what God asks of us.

My challenge is this…to find one person daily that I struggle to relate to and make an effort to love them as Christ does.

I like to think I have a say and a voice…and I do, for a specific audience. And right now that audience is my children. My reaction to all this malarkey is what I need to be focused on. Teaching them how to listen to their own hearts, protect their own minds and nourish their own souls as the temple God entrusted to them. I am to guide them to seek out the truth that God speaks to them for His purpose. Not to gain blind obedience, judge or concemn in order to gain the approval of our peers or save the world…

Our job is to rise above, stand tall, exude the light and be the love of Christ.

Unconditional

Here is the deal...I used to write to Abigail, and to Amelia for a bit. I had these scrapbooks that I wrote in so that in the event I died, they'd be able to know who I was and where they get their weird from.

Then life all kinds of blew up and I realized I had no clue who I actually was. I mean, you always kinda sorta know who you are...but you are also kinda sorta always changing. So if you keep yourself in the rigid little box of "this is who I am"...you end up living a pretty boring and cramped life.

Don't be afraid to change, to grow. If things stop interesting you, challenging you, teaching you- you might want to start looking at burial plots because it seems to me that is the beginning of the end.

Enough of that for today...what I really logged in here to talk about is about God. Specifically who he is NOT, in my humble opinion.

Sometimes, people will tell you stories about God and they will give you warm and fuzzy feelings. Sometimes they will make you hang your head in shame. And there will be a few times in your life that someone will say something so odd that all you can do is stare at their face and try to understand what language they are speaking. Only you will know what is true for you. When something sounds or feels off-trust it. That is the Holy Spirit.

God is different things to different people, and over the course of my life God has been different things to me in different seasons.

I never really took to the idea of God as a parent. Until I had kids. Growing up it seems that people liked to make God this mean authority figure to keep you in line. I think that is crap. I don't want my kids to see me or God that way.  

Now- before you light your torches, hear me out.

I strive to parent my children in a way that they learn to make the right life choices for them. I want them to make choices they are proud of and confident in. I want them to know they can step out in faith because I will be right behind them to soften the fall. I do not want them ever to make a choice because they fear the losing my love. 

I want my children to have a moral conscience. I want them to know right from wrong. But also to know and show humility and grace. We all sin. We all fall, and we get back up.

And that they are loved, without reason and beyond measure.

growing again

Growth is a wonder-filled thing. It is the realization of beauty and at times can cause extreme discomfort. This stage I am currently in takes discomfort to new levels. I don't want to cause discomfort to others, but I am seeing now that a large part of why I am uncomfortable is because I put others comfort and that nasty need for approval before everything.

 Lately, as I struggled to find a way to "fix" my life...I thought the answer was self care so I made myself a priority. Then the weirdest thing happened. Once I started getting away from my family, I started really not liking them. I flashed back to being 8 years old and my mom telling me I could not spend the night with my grandmother on Friday, go to a birthday party on Saturday and then have a friend over after church because I was rude to my family after that much time away. But to recognize it and experience it as the adult was a bitter pill to swallow. I don't ever want my children to feel I resented them for needing me. They are my world, and lately I have sucked at treating them well.

I am struggling in more areas than I have the strength to type. I feel as if every single relationship in my life is being challenged, and I don't have the energy for it. So I began to examine what my purpose here. What will I regret? And the answer was actually really simple. I won't ever regret spending time with my kids. Marriage and friendships are optional. That may seem like the worst possible thing I could say and I may invoke the wrath of hell to swallow me whole...but my human truth is that I regret every moment I chose not to spend with my children. I have known this at my core since before they were born. It is who I am.

Motherhood is hard. I fail daily. But do I, really? No. While I may fail at many things...as long as I am being a good Mom and putting my kids first,,,everything else is negotiable. And I may suck at every.other.single.thing in life. I am okay with that as long as I can look in the mirror and say with every fiber of my being... "I am a good mom".

When my world cracked and shattered...I had JUST discovered this purpose and confidence. I embraced it, wrapped it around me and stood tall and proclaimed it as my truth. And then....that happened.

I know now that every time I declare to have learned, discovered, felt something...I should not say it out loud. Because when I do, that truth is challenged beyond ANY vision of hell my imagination could conjure.

After a decade of fighting to get back on up on my feet, stand tall and breath... I have a few moments to find my footing and brace for what comes next. This is a beautiful moment atop this rock watching the waves...

Lazy?

Among the million thoughts floating through my mind the last few days...

1) what if instead of trying to figure out what I am doing to "cause" my child's undesirable behavior, I view it as part of their journey of self-discovery? I spend so much energy thinking of how I can redirect, positively reaffirm or buffer natural consequences. Would it be terribly "lazy" if I just let them be? I do want to protect them, not to mention it is easier to blame myself and change my behavior than theirs (control issues much?!) ...but does this teach them responsibility? What will they do in the real world when faced with injustice, hurt or disappointment and no one steps up to say, "oh, that's my fault". Because when was the last time I witnessed another adult voluntarily take responsibility for another adult's misteps? It is hard enough to get them to be accountable for their OWN mistseps in my personal experience. Everyone is looking for a scapegoat! I digress...

2) If my kids hear me give advice; but see me struggle or fail completely to do as I have instructed...what is that teaching them? Shouldn't I love/respect myself enough not to settle for less just like I tell them? And how can they trust what I say to be true when I am not personally acting on it.

When they see me make excuse for and accept the unacceptable from all the adults...why wouldnt they test the boundaries. Wait, what boundaries?!

3) What is it that drives me on this insane quest to be more, do better, improve all the things ... while running on the hamster wheel that is my life. How will my life ever be any different if I keep doing the exact same thing?! #insanity

4) what if I valued my mind the same way I do my body? Is it not just as valuable? Does it not need to be fed.

5) what would happen if I stopped trying to figure it all out and make sense of life and just.... Existed?

Release

I am tired. I don't want to fight anymore to be seen, or accepted or validated.

I have four kids that need my attention and time.

I may not the the happiest person you have ever met, but I can say with confidence that I am not the most miserable.

Something I find myself telling my kids all.the.dang.time lately is,

"Stop giving them the power to hurt you. What he/she says does not define you or change the course of your life unless you let it. You alone are responsible for your actions."

Oh. I guess that applies to me also.

#putyourmoneywhereyourmouthis

Nothing has changed. Nothing will change. All the while everything is constantly changing.

I wish to high heaven we could get over our dang selves and just be...

I want to enjoy the days I have with my kids because it is all I have. Here, now, this moment. Tomorrow may or may not come.

And when I get to where ever I end up and look back over my life, I want to be able to take a deep breath and sigh peacefully knowing I lived it to the best of my ability.

It is with these final words, I end this chapter. It is this life of mine and I aim to live it.

How do you meditate?

Cleaning has always been one of my go-to methods of stress management. People used to think my life is so organized and my house was always so clean...I don't think they think that so much anymore. HA! This is one my my biggest sources of stress as of late, as I try to manage the chaos of four kids plus a few...and I am failing!

But I still find on the craziest of days, that nothing calms my frantic nerves or slows my brain like cleaning the bathroom.

So last week, I took 5 minutes to soothe my soul and as I scrubbed the tub I was struck with a thought...

When I hear some one tell me, that I am not responsible for their happiness...they are actually telling me that they do not now, nor will they ever feel responsible for my happiness. This does not mean that they do not love or value me, just that their spiritual gift (if you will) is NOT service or words of affirmation

This is not a bad thing. But it is something I will need to work on seeing differently.

Because what makes me feel valuable is to be seen. This is how I show love, and it is also what makes me feel loved; To have others treat me the way I treat them.

From what I gather this is not necessarily the way all people work. Which is why I have struggled in my relationships. Would have been nice to realize this...earlier.

Additionally...as I am contemplating this on a human level, I also realized that what I feel makes me "valuable" to others, is also what I think makes me valuable to God. False.

Why it has taken me the better part of 32 years to understand Ephesians 2;8-9 I cannot explain. I learned that verse, committed it to memory as a 3 years old...but just the other day I "got" it. Maybe by the time I am 70 I will be able to live peacefully in the truth of it.

In the meantime...by bathrooms will continue to be meditation room.

thirty plus five

The last few years seem to have been a jumble...Of re-discovering myself, learning more and then realizing I am still exactly where I was a decade ago, with my head buried deeply in the sand.

This is where I say, eh...life.

A decade ago I turned 25. Shortly after I found out I was having my second child and I was on top of the world I remember the german chocolate cake made with love and the paisley pumps I splurged on at payless then later returned, which I regret to this very day.

Oh, memories...I have to stop you there.

This birthday is a turning point. I have grown so much since then, I have aged many,many moons...and yet my soul feels younger.

I would love to say I am much wiser...but no. It is taking me a very long time to learn that the only key to true happiness is to be aware and appreciative of life in it's "as-is" state.

It is what it is ... which is exactly as it should be.

I get angry and anxious...but then the feeling of peace comes and brings sweet relief and lifts me higher than I dare to dream.

This year is hopeful. I am certain it will bring it's fair share of storms...but I have re-discovered the little girl who loved to dance in the rain with abandon and dare the storm winds to blow her down or climb to the tips of the trees. I can embrace this daringly brave soul once again because I remembered it is NOT a negative mindset that calls these things to me, but rather my unwavering faith, courage and strength.

What does not kill you makes you stronger. When people try to beat you down with nasty words or accusations, it is because they are frightened by you and need to convince you that you are small so they can be big. I do not need to be big to be strong.  I forgot that for a couple of years.

Slowly but surely...I will remember who I am. This year I am giving myself a different set of gifts.

I am giving myself love. Acceptance. Space. Time. Compassion. Nourishment.

and the thirty ways I plan to do this are...

1 Sleep.
2 Drink (more) Water
3 Eat
4 touch the earth every single day
5 smile
6 read
7 write
8 reflect without judgement
9 be curious
10 run
11 release the energy drainers
12 hug
13 breathe
*14 do what brings you joy because it brings you JOY...not in a spirit of obligation
15 forgive yourself when you fail at #14
16  allow to see past the words and feel the love...
17 publicly acknowledge the good...
18 invest on others
19 grow something...whether it be your mind, a plant or a relationship
20 be silly
21 invest in yourself
22...


I have the rest of my life to figure out the rest. :-) Till next time...

Journey journal

Another gift I have decided to give myself is time...to journal.
I am no longer in school so I have an abundance of free time now, right?! HA! But really...I must keep swimming otherwise I'll start growing algae in my brain. Many of my friends are jumping on the Bible journaling bandwagon and I am happy for them. But in this season of life...that's not my cup of tea. Still Christ follower...no currently a church goer.

What is my cup of tea is keeping track n my forward progression of thoughts, a road map if you will. The thing is I firmly believe everything I need to know for my life is already in my head, God equipped me when He created my being. I just have to figure out have to access and apply said knowledge to daily situations.

I find that as I read, each and every book in my stack, God speaks to me because I am silencing myself and listening for Him. Meditation.

And I want to have record of those conversations. I need reminders when I get off track.

Thus begins the journaling of my journey. I am bad about starting things...typically getting excited to start something fresh on a specific date (think new years or birthday) but by the time that date actually comes around I have lost motivation or if I do start and then miss a day- I just stop altogether. I have been very proud of the forward movement I started at the end of December and have maintained for several months now. And I am excited to keep going.

I know good things are coming my way.

Today I sat down with "52 ways to love your body" (Kimber Simpkins)  and was in awe of chapter 2. It is the how-to I have been looking for. She literally breaks it down into a simple step- by step process to change how we think about ourselves. If you are like me and have been struggling even a little bit with negative self talk or low self-esteem, get on amazon and order this book today.

Now I that I have documented the start I am off to dig out one of a hundred empty journals I have around my house and start doodling.

Until next time...jn

Happy Birthday

 I will celebrate another year of human life here in a few weeks and this birthday is resonating on a few levels. I can feel my life shifting gears as my youngest has turned two and become absolute spawn. Abigail will start high school in less than six months. Amelia will be a 4^th grader and the plan is for Axel to start pre-K, pending acceptance. Otherwise, we may just bite the bullet and take our chances with Kinder. But as we all know with my “plans”…the reality will probably be something so very different I cannot even begin to conjure it in my imagination.

With all that impending doom, um, I mean change. Err, uh growth…I started thinking about ways to embrace this next phase.

As we all know, I have been on this particular journey for a minute. The one where I learn to accept life as it is and love myself…because I am imperfect but not unworthy. I *think* I have figured out the lesson I have been supposed to learn for the better part of a decade and now I am in the part where I have to use what I have figured out and apply it daily.  21 days to make a habit, right?! So far my personal best is hovering at 9.

Any way I am getting off topic…so the last couple of weeks I have been running and meditating. And a few things have become clear. I am still trying too hard to be “normal”. I still value others happiness and peace above my own. I can not fake it till I make it. I have to be me.

What this means, is I am shedding the things that no longer serve me. I am going to embrace who I was created to be and do what feels right in my soul. I will not live this life according to someone else’s recipe for success. I am giving myself permission to be exactly who I was designed, created and destined to be.

I will…

• ·    Share about Shaklee…because it has changed my life and become an integral part of my days. I will also share about juice plus, and young living. Not because I am trying to earn a paycheck but because these are products that use love and believe in.
•      Let go of each work day as soon at 5:30 and make decisions based on my family’s needs.  
•      Continue to improve myself, whether it be running 5k’s, working on another certification or degree or having conversations with other adults who teach and feed my spirit.

 I quit…

• ·    Allowing others opinions of me to influence my attitude.
• ·    Explaining why my kitchen floor is unswept or there are dishes in my sink.
• ·    Worrying about everything possible scenario where something I said or did could be misinterpreted and making myself ill.
• ·    Shopping instead of communicating my disappointments and irritations.
• ·    Working on myself to “fix” situations that are not my responsibility to fix.

      
I recently read about a quote…something along the lines of “the important things stay”. I am going to try trusting in that a little bit more. Because love does not fear.

I am giving myself permission to be loved, to invest my time and energy in the things that feed me and not throw my energy away living in fear.

35 is going to be an amazing year! 

Light

I spend at least a quarter, a third of my life in conversation…with myself…preparing to have conversations with other people. Often times through the course of said conversations, I convince myself that speaking to another human would be a waste of energy. Not only do feelings, thoughts or information not get passed along, but I have created the worst case scenario and more often than I care to admit…I take up residence in that negative space where I am not “worth it”.

Reflection is another obsessive habit natural process. As previously stated…typically this would be a negative process.  I am learning to consider intention and perspective, allowing them to filter and  redirect my reactions; which means I am able now to reflect in a more positive and constructive manner.

This weekend as I shuffled between books…I realized the common theme among them.

Love. You. You ARE worth it. Teach them…by loving you.  Love THEM…by loving YOU.

Trust…even in your failures and imperfections…You are LOVED.

I am…(learning) what that looks like. The “How To” that I searched for, that waiting room door that I didn’t open.

It is knocking things off the beam to regain or maintain balance. In the past I would knock many things off the balance beam...but they were all the things that gave me life. I imagined that to be a good christian...I needed to put everyone's likes or wants before my needs. I was a martyr but not in a heroic manner, it was self destructive. I wanted to change that for a long time but didn't know how. Now I do. It looks like avoiding cleaning the toyroom or kitchen to work on a space that nobody sees except me. Instead of prepping for the week…it is soaking in the bath till your fingers were all wrinkly. Take a nap, sit outside and take pictures of clouds or grass...Because it feeds your soul.

I am also gaving myself permission to be authentic. Because it is what I need; to allow others to see me for who I am instead of always trying to apply what others say is the best course of action.

My life is for me, spirit filled and led. In my daycare…I will allow the wonder weeks, imagination and curiosity to guide our lessons. My business will reflect my generous heart. I will trust those who love me to stay…if the relationship feeds and grow us. And if not, if their roots need room to grow then I will not see the broken pot of our relationship as a reflection of either party.

It is a good place, with lots of fresh air to breathe…this place of coming to terms with oneself and the world in which I reside. I am hopeful for what lies ahead and with renewed strength, I press onward.

fail or fly

People have been telling me for awhile now (a looong while) that life is a matter of perception and reactions. In other words, how I take things and the reactions that I choose determine my own happiness~no matter what crudtastic thing someone does to me or rottenness life throws at me, only I have the power to allow it to define or hurt me.

It is a process, to re-learn all you thought you knew about life. Parenthood is the most effective teacher in my opinion. Lately, I am learning a bunch through my Shaklee experience.

Last week, I began to see "the ick" sneaking in with my daycare crew. We fought a hard fight, but after two weeks, we had to wave the white flag. With the nastiness, came the seeds of doubt. We got sick and I felt like a failure and was upset that our new regimen had failed us. I was able to stop those thoughts when I realized that it took almost 2 weeks, (of repeated exposure) to get to us and once we took control of the situation and used the tools we trust to work- I claimed victory! 

A few extra optiflora, lots of performance to keep hydrated and some activated charcoal and I was better in less than 2 days and my symptoms were mild. I didn't miss one day of work. Now I will say the girls missed school-but that had more to do with varying levels of tolerance, the fact that they did not take what I took and school sick policy than the actual bug.

Additionally- today I was shocked when my 4.5 yr old counted to 30. Then his newly 2 yr old brother decided he needed to potty and bravely went into the bathroom and did his business. And we had it very first brother piggy back. #itreallyis #thelittlethings

After what felt like a lazy and dark week...these rays of sunshine are shining SO brightly and I can't help but be excited that this door has finally opened for me!